


early morning cowboy

by thunderylee



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2019-01-16 03:27:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12334557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: He can always blame it on a 2am lack of judgment.





	early morning cowboy

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

“I’m going to sleep for a _year_ ,” Chinen says after yet another PV filming goes until 2am. “I liked it better when we were underage and couldn’t work past midnight.”

“You say that every time,” Yamada points out, just as tired and cranky but still putting on a silly face for the making-of cameras. “And walk like a normal person, will you?”

“No,” Chinen replies stubbornly, holding onto Takaki’s neck as the older man carries him piggy-back through the hallway of the studio. “Hey, Takaki, I can sleep at your place, right?”

“Of course,” Takaki answers, hoisting Chinen up a little more and looking like he has all the energy in the world despite putting in a twenty-hour day.

Yamada makes a face and falls back in time with whoever happens to be walking behind him, hoping it’s Daiki or Yabu. It’s Yuuto, which is good enough he supposes, except that the taller man is looking fondly at Takaki and Chinen like they’re a pair of cute puppies frolicking together or something.

“I’m jealous~” Yuuto whines.

“You want to sleep at Takaki’s too?” Yamada guesses, frowning at the thought of the three of them in one bed. Takaki just got his own place, which is why Chinen practically lives there with him, but it’s not that big.

“No,” Yuuto answers, and Yamada glances up to find his face thoughtful. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

“Well now you have to tell me,” Yamada prods, though he’s really not that inclined to follow through as they reach the doors and climb into the van that’s taking half of them home. Chinen and Takaki are in the other one, thankfully, but Yabu and Hikaru are in this one and Yamada thinks that might be worse.

“I just don’t like to sleep alone,” Yuuto says quietly as they settle in the middle seat to give the older members some privacy. “I’m too old to sleep with my parents or brother anymore, but I miss the closeness. I don’t know, I told you it’s stupid.”

“I don’t think that’s stupid,” Yamada replies, interrupting himself for a yawn. He contemplates Yuuto’s tall frame and strong arms for a fraction of a second before adding, “You can sleep over at my place if you want.”

He can always blame it on a 2am lack of judgment, Yamada reasons, but then Yuuto’s face lights up and Yamada feels like he made the right choice after all. “Really? Your parents won’t mind?”

Yamada shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. My sisters have friends stay over all the time.”

“Okay,” Yuuto says, grin bright as he pulls out his phone. “I’ll let my mom know. She insists on waiting up for me, no matter how late it is.”

Sure enough, his phone vibrates a few seconds later, telling Yuuto to behave and that she’ll see him tomorrow. Yamada’s only a little envious, since he works so much that his family wouldn’t think twice if he didn’t come home for a week, but he wouldn’t want them to lose sleep over him either.

All he does is nod and wonder if this arrangement means that he can utilize Yuuto as a pillow for the rest of the ride. He lets his head fall onto Yuuto’s arm and Yuuto doesn’t shove him off, so he takes that as a yes. Somehow he can feel Yuuto’s smile through his skin.

Trudging through Yamada’s house is more difficult than usual, since Yamada has to guide another person and can’t rely on his instincts alone. They manage to make it to his bedroom without knocking anything over, where Yamada instantly strips to his boxers and flops onto his bed face-first, leaving Yuuto to his own devices. Yamada’s not the best host at 2:30am.

“Where do you keep your spare futon?” Yuuto asks, his voice a low whisper that has Yamada feeling a sudden chill despite being the dead of summer.

“What?” Yamada lifts his face from his pillow, which takes a lot of effort, and glares in the general direction of Yuuto’s voice with his eyes still closed. “I thought you said you wanted to sleep close to someone.”

“I did, but…” Yuuto trails off.

“Then get in here,” Yamada mutters. He lets his face fall back onto the pillow, the last of his energy depleted. If Yuuto still wants to argue, he can look for the futon himself.

Yamada actually thinks he falls asleep for as long as it takes Yuuto to crawl into bed with him, situating those long limbs under the covers on top of which Yamada had unceremoniously sprawled out. Yamada can’t possibly understand why someone would want extra covers after dancing in heavy costumes for the majority of the day, but he’s not about to lie awake debating Yuuto’s life choices.

The next time he wakes up is because Yuuto’s calling his name, rather frantically, and Yamada’s eyes pop open at the threat of an emergency. There isn’t any smoke and the house is completely silent, the sun just starting to break the horizon, and Yuuto’s curled up next to him sleeping and completely still. He must have imagined it, he realizes, his fatigue coming back full force now that he doesn’t have to fear for his life and the lives of his family.

“Yama-chan…”

That one was real, Yamada realizes with a start as Yuuto breathes a little faster. “What?”

No answer. Yamada narrows his eyes, annoyed at being the one awake while this guy talks in his sleep. Suddenly cold, he navigates under the covers and feels Yuuto’s folded-up arms against his, very warm and inviting. Yamada scoots a little closer without thinking, drawn to the heat of Yuuto’s body, and Yuuto seems to relax from the contact.

“Yama-chan.”

Yamada feels a little proud that Yuuto knows who he is even when he’s unconscious. The two of them go way back, of course, even if they’re not that close anymore. When they were both the same size, though, they’d been inseparable. Everyone has to grow up eventually, even if for Yamada that hadn’t been literal.

“Yama-chan,” Yuuto goes on, and Yamada hears the urgency in his voice that had woken him. It’s followed by a pained whine, and Yamada’s turning onto his side facing Yuuto to shake him before his brain processes what’s happening.

“Wake up,” Yamada grumbles, his own voice low and groggy. “You’re having a bad dream.”

Yuuto jerks suddenly, eyes blinking open under Yamada’s very heavy-lidded stare. Yamada can barely see him in the dark, but he can tell that Yuuto’s still scared like his mind hadn’t quite left whatever world he’d just been in. “Yama-chan?”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Yamada says, hoping he sounds soothing and not as gruff and impatient as he feels. “It’s not real. It was just a dream.”

“We didn’t?” Yuuto asks, almost disappointedly, and Yamada frowns in confusion.

“We didn’t what? I was sleeping, at least until you started saying my name.”

“Oh.” Yuuto rolls onto his back and looks sheepish. “Never mind then.”

“Sometimes you are more passive-aggressive than all of the women in my family combined,” Yamada mutters as he elbows Yuuto in the side. “Tell me about the damn dream already.”

“I don’t wanna.”

Naturally that has Yamada’s curiosity piqued. “Yuuto, were you dreaming about me?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m flattered,” Yamada jokes, and now Yuuto’s the one elbowing him. “Come on, it was just a dream.”

“It just felt so real,” Yuuto says, and Yamada can hear the longing in his voice. “I don’t know.”

“What were we doing?” Yamada asks carefully, not sure if he wants the details despite the sudden rush of adrenaline surging through his veins, leaving him wide awake.

“Nothing bad,” Yuuto rushes to say. “Just, you know, kissing and stuff.”

“Kissing and stuff,” Yamada repeats, wrinkling his nose as he thinks about it. He can’t count on the hands _and_ feet of all ten original JUMP members how many times Yuuto has tried to kiss him during the course of their careers, but it had always been fanservice. And Yamada had always pushed him away and called him gross, which he feels a little bad about right now as the dawn starts to break.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yuuto’s flat voice pierces through his thoughts. “It was just a dream.”

Yamada leans up to squint at his clock. “Ugh, it’s five o’clock in the morning.”

“Sorry,” Yuuto mumbles. “Go back to sleep.”

“I’m awake _now_ ,” Yamada whines, turning his head to find Yuuto staring up at his ceiling. “Do you want to?”

“Do I want to go back to sleep?” Yuuto inquires. “Yes, of course.”

“Not that, moron,” Yamada says, flopping his arm over his eyes because somehow that makes this easier to say. “Do you want to kiss me.”

Yuuto doesn’t answer him right away, which Yamada figures is just as good as confirmation, but then Yuuto heaves a sigh that seems heavier than his entire body as Yamada strains to hear every breath. “I’ll just go home.”

“Shut up, you’re not going anywhere.” Yamada lifts the arm that had been covering his eyes and flops it across Yuuto’s chest. This had been a good idea in theory, but in reality it requires Yamada to turn his body to face Yuuto and press against his side, like they were cuddling.

That seems to serve the purpose, though, keeping Yuuto right where he is to talk this out instead of leaving like a coward. Yamada can feel his heartbeat and thinks that no one should be this anxious at 5am, stretching out to get comfortable because he may as well do this properly.

“It’s okay if you do,” he adds when Yuuto doesn’t say anything. “I don’t mind.”

“Of course you don’t,” Yuuto says. “Everybody wants to kiss you. You’re Yamada fucking Ryosuke.”

His voice is almost venomous, but his body is relaxing in Yamada’s embrace and even through closed eyes Yamada sees straight through his cold front. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Let’s just go back to sleep,” Yuuto tells him with what Yamada recognizes as pleading in his voice. “This is enough.”

He brings his arms to wrap around Yamada and Yamada never thought he could feel this warm without being unbearably hot. It’s not entirely from the temperature anyway, the warmth escalating as he feels Yuuto’s nose in his hair and Yuuto’s heartbeat finally slows down. It feels good to lie with him like this, so close and uninhibited. And bare, Yamada adds as Yuuto’s skin burns against his, as it making itself known. Yuuto isn’t wearing any more than Yamada himself, which Yamada hadn’t thought twice about until right now.

His fingers find the sides of Yuuto’s ribs and traces the bumps, making him squirm. “Yama-chan, stop it.”

“I want to.”

It comes out so fast that Yamada doesn’t realize he’d actually said anything until Yuuto grabs his wrist. “But it tickles.”

“Not that.” Yamada inhales sharply, but his brain still feels like it doesn’t have enough oxygen. “I wanna kiss you.”

Yuuto freezes, but doesn’t move as Yamada lifts his head to find Yuuto licking his lips with his eyes closed. It looks awfully inviting, and it wouldn’t take much to close the distance between them. Yamada wonders what he can blame it on—the late hour? The fanservice? Hearing Yuuto call out his name while sleeping? It’s probably a combination of everything, honestly, but all Yamada knows is that right now Yuuto is in his bed and his mouth looks way too inviting.

It’s happening before he knows it, Yuuto gasping as Yamada leans down and presses their lips together, so lightly that it can hardly be construed as a proper kiss. He’s waiting for Yuuto to stop him, to push him away or just turn his head, but both of Yuuto’s hands grab onto his back to keep him right where he is and Yamada can feel in that instant how much Yuuto wants this, maybe has been wanting this for a while now.

Yuuto does turn his head after a few seconds, but it’s just to rub their lips together and Yamada never thought something like that could feel so good. It has Yamada tilting his head to kiss him properly, like he kisses girls, though that comparison goes right out the window when Yuuto responds stronger than any girl Yamada’s ever had. His mind spins from the force and all they’re doing is pressing their lips together, over and over again, his breath getting shorter each time they make contact. Eventually he needs to pull back to breathe, chest heaving like he’d just run a marathon.

“As good as your dream?” he asks breathlessly.

“Better,” Yuuto replies, eyelids lifting to show his eyes dark and a little glossed over. He seems to have a better grasp on his breathing, but then again he’s the one flat on his back. “Are we done?”

“Do you want to be done?” Yamada asks.

“No,” Yuuto answers firmly, and then Yamada’s the one on his back with Yuuto hovering over him as their mouths collide again. This time Yuuto takes charge, which both shocks and pleases Yamada as he just stretches out and slings his arms loosely around Yuuto’s thin waist. He barely manages to keep up with Yuuto, doing well to kiss back until Yuuto licks the seam of his lips and he feels it somewhere much lower.

A completely obscene moan has Yuuto pulling back, staring at Yamada in awe as Yamada realizes the sound had come from _him_. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” Yamada licks his lips, which doesn’t feel the same at all, and tightens his hold on Yuuto’s waist, keeping him right where he’s lying on his side next to Yamada. “We’re still not done.”

“No?” Yuuto replies, but his grin shows that he’s teasing and Yamada’s the one who leans up to press their mouths together again, kissing that expression right off his face with a flick of his own tongue.

Now Yuuto’s the one making noise, but his is deeper and more of a growl as he parts his lips and curls their tongues together. All Yamada can do is respond wholeheartedly, deepening their kiss that grows hotter with each passing second. He loses track of time, knowing nothing but Yuuto and Yuuto’s mouth and the heat of Yuuto’s body next to his that feels a bit like a dream.

“I’m so tired,” Yuuto whispers against his lips, not quite pulling away to speak. “But I don’t wanna stop.”

Yamada just hums, settling back on his pillow and holding onto Yuuto like he’s a giant stuffed animal. “Good night.”

The last thing he hears is a pitiful whine, but then he wakes up all snuggled in a tight embrace and he can’t remember being so comfortable. At least until he realizes his phone is vibrating somewhere on the floor, having buzzed its way straight off his nightstand…where the clock says 8:45am.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Yamada hisses, though moving proves to be a good match for his half-awake adrenaline with Yuuto weighing down his left side. For someone who’s so skinny, he sure is heavy. “Yuuto, wake up, we’re going to be late.”

Yuuto sleep-babbles questioningly as Yamada escapes enough to reach for his phone and scroll through his contacts. He selects Daiki’s name, because that guy is the least likely to give him a hard time, mostly since Yamada’s usually the one to harp on everyone for being punctual. Yamada’s halfway into his clothes when Daiki responds, telling him to calm down and not run over any poor obaachan on the way to the train station. Oh, and good luck waking up Yuuto.

Yamada turns back to his bed to find Yuuto curled up, hugging Yamada’s pillow in his arms supposedly as a substitution for Yamada himself, and Yamada feels something twist in his heart that he doesn’t think he’s ready for yet. What he does know is exactly how to wake Yuuto up, jumping right back onto his bed and kissing the other man until he gets a response, which turns out to backfire as he learns that Yuuto’s much more persistent in the morning, especially when he’s not entirely awake.

They roll into the meeting fifteen minutes late, neither one having made much of an attempt at fixing their hair from its sleep-muddled glory and Yuuto in his clothes from yesterday. Yamada knows damn well what this looks like, but he’s not awake enough to care and what happened last night can hardly hold a candle to the likes of Yabu and Hikaru. Though, the nagging back-leader voice in his head reminds him, those two haven’t been late for years.

He tries his best to focus on the meeting, but his mind keeps wandering. He’s doing better than Yuuto, though, who just nods at everyone else’s ideas and falls asleep on Keito’s shoulder during breaks.

“You shouldn’t wear the poor guy out like that,” Inoo chides from next to Yamada. “He’s not built to withstand all that lovin’ on top of his hard idol life.”

“Hush, you,” Yamada says to the older man’s snickers. “It’s not even like that.”

“Could have fooled me,” Inoo says, lowering his voice in supreme secrecy. “You keep looking over at him. Didn’t know you liked them tall and virgin.”

“They can’t all be charming like you,” Yamada deadpans, and Inoo laughs before his attention is demanded by Yabu. Yamada looks around the room to find that Yuuto’s not the only one cat-napping—Chinen’s also curled up in Takaki’s lap, but that’s normal. Watching Chinen sleep doesn’t make him nearly as frustrated as watching Yuuto, which doesn’t make any sense. Yamada wants a nap, too, but he has a hard time sleeping in public.

“Yo, Yamada,” Keito calls over, and Yamada drags his eyes the short distance to him. “If you’re going to glare over here, I’ll dump him on _your_ shoulder. It’s your fault anyway.”

“Why do you all assume it was me?” Yamada snaps. “Maybe _he_ kept _me_ up all night. Did you perverts ever stop to think that?”

Keito blinks and Yamada realizes too late what he’d just said.

“Too much information, dude,” Hikaru says from behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

Yamada rubs his eyes. “It’s not like that!”

He hears the familiar cackle of Yabu’s laughter and resigns himself to the next five minutes of teasing and inappropriate comments until the meeting resumes. Yuuto sleeps through it all, the bastard, though he flashes a smile at Yamada upon waking that has Inoo digging his elbow pointedly into Yamada’s side.

After the meeting are photoshoots, where both Yamada and Yuuto are thankfully made presentable by stylists, then Yamada has another shoot with NYC. He tries to beg off dinner with Yuuma and Chinen afterward, but nobody is ever successful at denying Nakayama Yuuma anything and he finds himself crowded around a table in a busy ramen joint with the other two. His only saving grace is that Yuuma and Chinen aren’t old enough to drink yet, otherwise they’d probably be here for hours.

Then Chinen rats him out. “Yamada took Yuuto home last night, so that’s why he’s all worn out and pissy.”

Yamada’s pitiful attempt at smacking Chinen just supports his statement, though he’s quick to refute it. “I’m worn out and pissy because I’ve had two full days of work, brat.”

“So have I!” Chinen retorts, lifting his chin importantly.

“You and Yuuto, huh?” Yuuma says, eyes sparkling deviously. “Can’t say I didn’t see that coming.”

The protest that was on the tip of Yamada’s tongue dies in favor of confusion. “Huh? What do you mean?”

Yuuma shrugs. “Just a feeling. You two were always…I don’t know. Different.”

“We’ve worked together since we were kids,” Yamada tells him. “No different than this one.”

He kicks Chinen’s stool, nearly knocking him off of it, but Chinen just rolls his eyes and slurps his ramen. “I’m not trying to fuck you, though.”

“We’re not…” Yamada sighs and rubs his temples while Yuuma’s grin turns evil. “I give up. Think what you want.”

It’s late when Yamada gets home, though not nearly as late as the night before, and his bed is still messed up from this morning. A bath feels heavenly and he crawls into bed a lot less sore, except that all he smells is Yuuto and that weird feeling comes back as he tosses and turns for hours, never quite getting comfortable.

The next day is dance practice with JUMP, who give Yamada just as much shit for being tired as they had the day before. Except this time Yuuto is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed like normal, laughing with the others as they speculate who occupied Yamada’s bed last night. That little shit Chinen mentions that he’d left Yamada with Yuuma, which leads to some disturbing presumptions about Kansai dick.

“Are you addicted to sex?” Yabu asks seriously, giving Yamada a stern look. “Do we need to stage an intervention?”

“You assholes would probably think an orgy is an intervention,” Yamada grumbles. “For your information I was alone last night, and if any of you make right-hand jokes, I’m punching you in the face.”

It’s an empty threat since Yamada can barely stand up without swaying, but they back off nonetheless. Daiki shoots him worried glances all day, and Yamada doesn’t blame him. He’s starting to get a little worried himself. Maybe he should go to the doctor before they get busy with single promotions.

If he thought that was bad, it’s nothing compared to the next week. Yamada almost thinks that he’s sick, considers the possibility that Yuuto gave him mono or something despite being perfectly healthy himself, but physically Yamada’s just tired from lying awake at night. It’s mentally that he’s all messed up, getting lost in his own thoughts whenever they happen to make sense. He doesn’t understand it at all, and he’s really done putting up with it. He has a job to do, dammit. He can’t be all fucked up about…whatever this is.

Honestly, he knows what it is. He’s known since the first time he heard Yuuto say his name in his sleep, and it takes his manager threatening to pass up his next drama offer to finally do something about it.

“I think I like you,” he greets Yuuto at the door. It’s seven-thirty in the morning on a Tuesday and it hadn’t taken much convincing to get Raiya to wake up his big brother before he left for school. Yuuto’s hair is sticking straight up when he trudges down the stairs with half an eye open, wearing mismatched sweats and a T-shirt that he’d clearly just thrown on to be presentable.

And Yamada’s never been more attracted to him. All he wants to do is let Yuuto go right back to bed, with him this time, and press as close as he possibly can. It’s been a nightmare trying to suppress these feelings at work, mostly because Yuuto seems so unaffected and the rest of their group already thinks they’re doing it anyway. Yabu’s best shot at an intervention would have actually been shoving them in a room together.

Even now, Yuuto just blinks the one eye and slumps in the doorway. “You woke me up to tell me that?”

“I haven’t slept for a week and a half because of you!” Yamada explodes, seriously hoping that Yuuto’s parents are not home, and maybe his neighbors too.

“Me?” Yuuto yawns spectacularly, showing Yamada his tonsils, though he comes back with both eyes partly open. “I didn’t do anything, Yama-chan.”

“You kissed me,” Yamada says, his voice much lower. “So it’s your fault.”

“ _You_ kissed _me_ ,” Yuuto corrects him. “So it’s your own fault.”

Yamada folds his arms and glares up at the other man. “You started this whole thing and you know it. Take responsibility already.”

“Fine.” Yuuto sighs, though it sounds more like another yawn, and he rolls his eyes as he grabs Yamada’s arm and pulls him across the threshold. “Come inside already. Don’t cause a scene on my front porch like we’re in a high school drama.”

Yamada starts to grumble a response, but he sees Yuuto’s mom folding laundry in the kitchen and just makes pleasantries with her on the way to Yuuto’s room. Once there, Yuuto looks longingly at his bed like he wants to crawl right back into it, and Yamada doesn’t really have a problem with that at all.

“You want me to take responsibility?” Yuuto asks, his tone more challenging than his coherence implies.

“Yes!” Yamada replies. “You were the one who kept saying my name in your sleep. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have these stupid feelings.”

He instantly finds himself backed up against the wall, both of Yuuto’s fists twisted in the fabric of his shirt. “Call them stupid one more time and I will hit you right in your cute nose.”

Yamada doesn’t think he’s ever seen Yuuto threaten to hit anyone in his entire life, let alone do it, so naturally he’s a little uneasy as Yuuto glares down at him. “Yuuto?”

“Did you even stop to think that I might have them, too?” Yuuto asks, his voice low and stern. “Maybe I’ve had them a hell of a lot longer than ten days, and I’m much more certain of it. And I was perfectly fine with that until you kissed me.”

“I’m sorry,” Yamada whispers, reaching up to grab onto Yuuto’s arms in an attempt to calm him while his own heart threatens to beat out of his chest. “But isn’t it okay now? I like you, too. I want to kiss you again.”

“We can’t just…” Yuuto hangs his head, his hair brushing Yamada’s face, and his grip loosens as Yamada lowers his arms to Yuuto’s waist. It feels so good to hug him again, even if Yuuto’s apparently pissed off at him at the moment. “Yama-chan,” he finally says, sounding defeated, “you have no idea what you’re saying.”

“Don’t I?” Yamada contests. “We’re the same age, you know. And I’ve never even seen you with a girl, so I have more experience than you when it comes to—”

He’s cut off by Yuuto’s laughter, which is wholly ironic. “I don’t like girls, Yama-chan. And I’m certainly not going to parade my boyfriends around at work.”

That has Yamada falling silent, sucking his lips into his mouth as he processes that. His first instinct is to demand who it was, because it had to be someone in the agency and who the hell does Yuuto think he is to keep something like that a secret, but Yamada doesn’t want to know the first answer and already knows the second one.

“Look, I know you,” Yuuto says, finally letting go of Yamada’s shirt to rest his hands on Yamada’s shoulders. “You’re straight. You just like kissing, which is normal. Lots of straight guys make out with their friends.”

Yamada blinks. “How can you stand there and presume to know how I am?”

“Because I’ve seen you with girls,” Yuuto tells him, his voice growing gentler like he’s explaining something that’s going to upset _Yamada_. “You looked at Mirai-chan like she was the world. You’ve never looked at me like that. And that’s okay, I accepted a long time ago that my feelings wouldn’t be returned. I’m fine with our friendship the way it is.”

“Will you put away the drama audition monologue and listen to me?” Yamada demands. “I’m telling you I like you. I was in love with Mirai-chan, so you can’t compare the two. Not yet. Give me time—hell, give me a _chance_ , and you can be the world, too.”

Yuuto stares at him for a few seconds before they both burst out laughing, Yuuto falling on Yamada in the process, and Yamada happily holds him close, breathing in the scent he’s been craving. He feels Yuuto relax, leaning down to rest his chin on top of Yamada’s head because he’s that much taller than him, and it’s really, really comfortable.

“That was so bad,” Yuuto says, and Yamada laughs harder. “Beyond high school drama bad.”

“Shut up, I don’t do this often.” Yamada pokes him between the ribs, where he knows Yuuto is ticklish, and Yuuto squirms. “Girls usually don’t need me to talk them into dating me.”

Yuuto abruptly stops moving. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Yamada says, deciding it at that exact moment. “I wanna be your boyfriend.”

“You know that means I’ll be your boyfriend, too, right?” Yuuto asks, and Yamada scoffs as Yuuto pulls back enough to look at him. “I mean, I’m also a guy. _Everywhere_. If we’re going to be together, eventually I’m going to want you to touch me.”

“I’m not scared of your dick, Yuuto,” Yamada tells him bluntly. “It can’t be anymore complicated than the trigonometric maze of girl parts. Some days Mirai just told me to stop and got herself off.”

Yuuto squeezes his eyes shut. “Giving me that mental image is counterproductive to your goal here.”

“Sorry.” Yamada plays with the hem of Yuuto’s T-shirt, sneaking his fingers underneath it to brush along the smooth skin of Yuuto’s waist. “Better?”

“A little,” Yuuto answers, shuddering as Yamada traces the waistband of his sweatpants. “Don’t start anything you can’t finish, Ryosuke. It’s been a long time.”

“You used my first name,” Yamada points out, drifting his fingers up Yuuto’s abdomen, where Yuuto sucks in his air.

“Testing it out.” Yuuto’s eyes pop open, gloriously dark, and if Yamada wasn’t turned on before, he definitely is now. “What do you think?”

Now Yamada rakes his nails up Yuuto’s chest, watching his face as he purposely bumps Yuuto’s nipples on his way back down. “I think you need to take me to bed and show me what to do, senpai.”

Yuuto’s breath hitches and Yamada shoves off the shirt, hands running all over Yuuto’s chest like he’s mapping it to touch. It’s so much different than touching a girl but he likes it, likes feeling Yuuto’s skin under his fingers and making the muscles tense. He leans in to press his mouth to Yuuto’s sternum, feeling the pulse of Yuuto’s heartbeat against his lips, which veer to the side and barely graze a nipple before Yuuto’s dragging him across the room and pulling him down onto the bed.

They land in a tangle of limbs, Yamada hovering over Yuuto until he leans down to do what he’s been thinking about doing since the last time they were like this. Yuuto kisses back, looping his arms around Yamada’s neck to pull him closer, and their legs intertwine enough to be comfortable as Yamada loses his mind. It’s all just so much, Yuuto’s mouth and embrace and warm body beneath him taking him over, and he’s moving against Yuuto without thinking, pressing as close as he can.

“Ryosuke,” Yuuto breathes, and Yamada really likes the way that sounds against his lips. “Scoot a little to the left.”

Yamada blinks down at him but does as he’s told, eyes widening as he feels a firm resistance between his legs that’s not his own. He may have been very aware that Yuuto was also male, but that’s a lot different than feeling it, particularly there. He must be making an interesting face, because Yuuto laughs and pulls him back down for a kiss that grows more heated as Yuuto rolls his hips, rubbing up against Yamada and pulling a soft gasp from Yamada’s lungs.

“I really like your noises,” Yuuto whispers between kisses, his own hands resting on Yamada’s waist like he’s waiting for permission to touch him. “My mom’s home, but as long as you don’t get too loud it’ll be okay.”

Yamada feels his face flush, like openly talking about his sex volume is more embarrassing than anything else they’ve discussed thus far, but then Yuuto’s hands drop to grab onto his ass. He’s held still while Yuuto grinds up again and Yamada’s next noise is a moan, his arousal heightening at the feeling of Yuuto hardening against him. He rocks back without thinking, pulling a low groan from Yuuto that sounds both surprised and pleased.

“I wanna touch you,” Yuuto says, and every nerve in Yamada’s body seems to fire up at once. “Is it okay?”

Yamada’s nodding before he processes the words, gasping as Yuuto’s fingers trail around his waist to the button of his pants. He expects Yuuto to hesitate like every girl who’s ever opened his pants before, but Yuuto wastes no time groping him through the material. It’s so firm and confident that Yamada moans again, pushing into the friction of Yuuto’s hand that squeezes him harder.

“Feel good?” Yuuto asks, pressing the words into the corners of Yamada’s lips. Yamada nods and feels Yuuto smile. “You’re so hard, Ryosuke. Do you want me that much?”

“Is your mouth always this filthy?” Yamada replies, choking on his breath when Yuuto’s fingers wrap around his cock directly. “ _Oh_.”

“No, actually,” Yuuto answers, a small puff of laughter ticking Yamada’s face. “Must just be something that you bring out of me.”

“Damn.” Yamada drops his face to Yuuto’s neck, which stretches to give him plenty of options. He picks a spot close to Yuuto’s shoulder and it turns out to be a good choice, making Yuuto arch beneath him and grind up against the back of his own hand. “Can I touch you, too?”

“Please,” Yuuto gets out, stroking Yamada’s cock properly and shuddering when Yamada moans right into his skin.

It should feel more awkward than it does to reach between them and shove his hand into Yuuto’s sweats, but Yamada’s way too worked up to focus on anything except what feels good. Yuuto’s bigger than Yamada thought he would be, but it still fits nicely in his hand, hardening even more when Yamada jerks him like he would himself, earning a low noise that vibrates all the way through Yamada’s body to his toes.

“Feels good,” Yamada mutters, hips snapping into Yuuto’s hand like he’s moving inside someone, maybe Yuuto himself, the mere association making him move faster. “Yuuto.”

“Slow down,” Yuuto hisses, grabbing Yamada’s wrist with his free hand to halt him as well as stilling his own efforts. “I’m not nearly done with you yet.”

Yamada’s whine passes right through his brain-to-mouth filter, but Yuuto just smiles and pushes off the rest of his clothes, slowly like they have all the time in the world. Really they don’t, because there are more photoshoots later and Yuuto’s mom is bound to hound them about breakfast eventually, but none of that seems to deter Yuuto from disrobing Yamada like he’s opening a particularly large, breathing present.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Yuuto says quietly, running his hands all over Yamada’s bare skin and leaving tingles in his wake. “But just in case this is the only time I get to be like this with you, I want to make the most of it.”

Now something is really twisting in Yamada’s heart, strong enough for him to pry his lips away from Yuuto’s enticing neck and return to his mouth, kissing him deeply and hoping his complete disapproval of those words gets through to him this way. Yamada’s beyond done talking, shoving the rest of Yuuto’s clothes off much more impatiently until they’re skin to skin, hearts beating rapidly as Yamada experiences the brand new feeling of sharp angles and hairy legs. Absolutely none of it stops him from kissing, touching, rubbing—anything to feel closer, to feel more.

Yamada finds a great position straddling Yuuto’s waist, where he can grind their erections together hands-free, and Yuuto seems to like it just as much if the way he’s groaning into Yamada’s mouth is any indication. Yuuto’s hands settle on Yamada’s thighs, guiding him back and forth and digging his fingers into the muscle when Yamada bumps him just right, feeling the wet head of Yuuto’s cock against his own.

“I want you,” Yuuto murmurs, squeezing Yamada’s thighs even harder. “I want you so bad, Ryosuke.”

“Me too,” Yamada gets out, really liking the way Yuuto says his name like that, likes hearing how much Yuuto wants him. His entire body feels like it’s on fire, ready for anything, even _that_. “You can if you want.”

Yuuto gasps, fingers moving around to grab onto Yamada’s ass. “Do you know what you’re saying?”

“Yes,” Yamada tells him, pulling back enough to look down into his face. He’s never seen Yuuto’s eyes this intense, his face nearly pink from arousal and his lips wet and plump from rough kissing. “It’s okay. If it’s you, it’s okay.”

Another groan from below shakes Yamada’s body as Yuuto leans over to his nightstand for a bottle and a foil packet. “It’s okay to be nervous, you know. I was a wreck my first time.”

“I told you, I’m not scared of your dick,” Yamada says firmly, reaching down to grab it for emphasis. “No matter where you put it.”

“Okay,” Yuuto says, his tone implying he doesn’t believe Yamada one bit, and Yamada thinks he might have some merit as he watches Yuuto squirt lube onto three of his long fingers. Then they disappear between his legs and he feels them on his inner thigh, making him tremble as they get closer and closer to where no one has ever touched him before. “Relax, Ryo-chan.”

“I am relaxed,” Yamada huffs, and Yuuto gives him a look.

“You can’t fake it like this,” Yuuto says gently, his touch matching his voice as a fingertip makes contact with the rim. Naturally Yamada jerks, but Yuuto keeps circling the area and he gradually gets used to it. “That’s good. Now try not to think about it.”

Yamada thinks that’s the dumbest thing Yuuto’s ever said, because how is he supposed to _not_ think about something touching him _there_ , but then Yuuto’s pulling him back down into his mouth and Yamada can’t deny that the distraction is helpful. Yuuto’s kisses are already so mind-blowing that Yamada barely notices the first finger inching inside him, his body slowly coming to welcome it, and with each bend of Yuuto’s knuckle it feels better and better.

“That’s it,” Yuuto whispers, igniting an entirely new level of arousal that Yamada feels deep inside of him, where Yuuto’s touching him. “Open up for me, Ryosuke.”

It’s so dirty that Yamada’s hips move on their own, pushing forward against Yuuto’s cock but also back against the finger, which has his eyes flying open at the surprising pleasure he feels. He does it again, and again, emitting a deep moan that feels like it had been yanked out of his lungs when Yuuto pushes in another finger, much easier than before. Now his body squeezes around them involuntarily and Yuuto seems to like that a lot, arching up against him and kissing him harder as he stretches him a little more forcefully now.

Yuuto’s breathing just as hard as Yamada is, clearly holding himself back from moving faster, getting rougher, and Yamada’s a mess on top of him, hips snapping back and forth desperately for more. Then Yuuto crooks his fingers just right and Yamada cries out louder than he should so early in the morning with Yuuto’s mother just a few rooms away, though for now he’s doing well to maintain breathing enough to stay conscious.

“ _Shhh_ ,” Yuuto hisses, but he’s prodding that spot again and Yamada pushes his face into Yuuto’s neck to muffle his uncontrollable moans. “Right there?”

Yamada nods, his body moving on its own as it seeks out that stimulation, which Yuuto happily provides, continuously, until Yamada’s about to claw out of his own skin with need. “Yuuto,” he whines, because he could give a shit about looking cool or adult right now. “Do it now.”

“You’re not ready,” Yuuto protests, except that his body seems inclined to follow Yamada’s order as he reaches for the condom with his free hand. “Do you want everyone to tease you for limping later?”

“They already think we’re doing it anyway,” Yamada mutters, snatching the packet from Yuuto’s hand to open himself. He knows how this works, at least, with the added benefit to watching someone else’s face contort in pleasure as he rolls it on. “It’s not like we’re dancing, and it doesn’t hurt at all.”

Yuuto scoffs. “I’m a lot bigger than two fingers, Ryosuke.”

“Yeah, but—” Yamada’s cut off as Yuuto eases in a third, which feels like a slow burn that has Yamada cutting his speed in half. “ _Fuck_.”

“See?” Yuuto asks, but he isn’t haughty for too long as the fingers on his other hand stroke Yamada’s hip comfortingly. “You feel so good. I can’t wait to be inside you.”

His words have Yamada’s body clenching even more, but Yuuto can move more easily. “Keep talking,” Yamada says, leaning down to place his ear closer to Yuuto’s mouth. “It’s helping.”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard,” Yuuto jumps right in, his breath tickling Yamada’s ear canal as he bends his knees to rock up with more momentum. “Just like this. You want it like this, Ryo-chan? You think you can ride me?”

Yamada just moans, Yuuto’s voice going straight between his legs where Yuuto’s fingers are stretching him embarrassingly wide, yet he keeps pushing back for more. “ _Yuuto_.”

“Okay, okay,” Yuuto breathes, urging Yamada to lean back on his heels as he pulls out his fingers and scoots Yamada further up his lap. Yamada can feel his body clenching at air and it’s easily the most out of control he’s ever felt in his life, like a junkie who needs a fix and nothing or no one will stand in his way of getting it. “Don’t you dare go too fast.”

Yamada nods, thighs quivering as he leans up enough to hover over Yuuto’s cock, strong hands on his waist keeping him steady. He swallows hard and takes the length in his hand, holding it firmly at the base as he takes a deep breath and lowers himself onto it. The head poses a bit of resistance, but once he clears that it’s just a matter of sitting down, which proves to be more of an endeavor than he’d expected since his legs keep threatening to give out.

“Oh,” Yuuto gasps, arching beautifully beneath him and struggling to keep his eyes open and on Yamada. “Oh, Ryosuke.”

“Fuck,” Yamada swears again, eyes popping open as his skin makes contact with Yuuto’s and it occurs to him that Yuuto’s fully inside him. He can certainly feel it, the hard length stretching him even more and sending his muscles into a frenzy.

“Take your time,” Yuuto says, rubbing Yamada’s thighs again as he bites his lip incredibly attractively. “It feels so good just like this, you don’t even have to move.”

Not moving is not an option, at least as far as Yamada’s body is concerned as all of his nerves are screaming for him to do exactly that. He tests the waters with a slow roll forward, which has Yuuto bringing his fist to his mouth to muffle a rather nice noise while Yamada chokes on his air. It feels good enough, so he keeps it up, using his dance-trained hips to stay balanced and on rhythm.

“Ryosuke…” Yuuto draws out, and all of the times he’s said it before doesn’t begin to compare to right now, with Yuuto deep inside him, touching him in places even those long fingers couldn’t reach. It has Yamada moving faster, leaning back for a better angle and gasping when he manages to get Yuuto to hit that spot he’d found before. “Ryosuke, slow down.”

“‘m fine,” Yamada slurs, because he is; everything is deliciously numb and all he feels is pleasure, over and over again as he bounces on Yuuto’s cock.

“Not for you,” Yuuto hisses through his teeth, sinking his nails into Yamada’s thighs, and Yamada figures out what he means before he speaks again. “I’m gonna come if you keep that up.”

“Maybe I want you to,” Yamada says, not recognizing his own voice with how low it is as his ornery side takes over. “Maybe I want to see you lose it for me.”

“ _Ryosuke_ ,” Yuuto half-whines, half groans as he tosses his head back and thrusts up in time with Yamada’s bounces. It’s incredibly hot to watch, not to mention how Yamada takes him in even deeper this way, and he’s starting to feel like he could finish like this without even being touched when Yuuto flings his arm over his face and practically yells into it. Yamada stares in awe as Yuuto pounds up into him a few more times before falling still, rushing to grab Yamada’s hips to stop him from moving.

“Yuuto,” Yamada says, a bit impatiently until he tries to move and widens his eyes at the unprecedented soreness. It’s not just the obvious place, either; his thighs and knees and even his abs are feeling the strain. “Ow.”

“Are you okay?” Yuuto asks, blinking through whatever euphoria he’s feeling to focus on Yamada. “I told you not to go so fast. You better not blame me when we go to work.”

“Never mind that,” Yamada mutters, rolling onto his side and tugging at Yuuto’s arm. “I didn’t come yet. Touch me?”

Yuuto hums as he manages to hoist himself up enough to fall right on top of Yamada, pressing him onto his back. “After what you just let me do, I’ll do whatever you want,” Yuuto wheezes.

“Really?” Yamada asks, lifting a hand to trace Yuuto’s lips with his thumb. Yuuto instantly flicks it with his tongue, which has Yamada’s hips snapping up against Yuuto’s leg. “Yes, that, please?”

“Ask me and I will,” Yuuto says, his eyes now looking devious as he slowly scoots down Yamada’s body. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“Suck me off,” Yamada demands, knowing damn well it’s not a question at all, but it’s good enough for Yuuto who presses his lips to Yamada’s overworked abs before continuing down. Yamada’s hand darts right to Yuuto’s hair out of habit, though it’s much shorter than anyone who’s ever done this before and Yamada likes it better that way, less to get tangled in his fingers.

That’s only the beginning of the differences, Yamada realizes when Yuuto mouths and licks at his cock before taking it past his lips. Everything about it is so incredibly confident and Yamada pushes aside the threats of jealousy at Yuuto doing this to someone else in favor of the fact that he knows what he’s doing, with no worry of him stopping when it gets to be too much or putting his teeth where they shouldn’t be. Yuuto takes Yamada almost all the way in and swallows around the head, pulling a sharp moan from Yamada’s throat before Yuuto pinches his thigh and Yamada stuffs his fist into his mouth.

Everything is so perfect and it feels so good that Yamada never wants it to end, except he’s long since been brought to the edge and doesn’t have the energy to hold it back, gasping out a quick warning as he reaches down to finish himself off. Except that Yuuto doesn’t move, just sucks him harder, and it’s so surreal to actually come into someone’s mouth for once that it takes him higher. Yuuto even swallows, drinking down everything Yamada gives him until it’s too much and Yamada gently pushes him back, lying flat on his back as he tries to remember how to breathe.

Then Yuuto appears in his line of vision, flashing his goofy smile and Yamada just laughs at the incredulity of it all as he loops both arms around Yuuto’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. All too soon he realizes the repercussions of his actions by tasting himself on Yuuto’s tongue, but it’s not that bad. It feels nice to kiss him after all of that, at least, his body curling toward Yuuto’s as Yuuto stretches out on top of him.

“I was going to suggest we do it the other way next time, but you seemed to like that a lot,” Yuuto teases him, and Yamada jabs his fingers between Yuuto’s ribs. “It’s not a bad thing! I don’t mind it at all. I’m fine either way, as long as it’s with you.”

Yamada’s indignant pout fades into something warm as Yuuto rests his head on Yamada’s shoulder, moaning softly as Yamada strokes his hair. Yamada really likes the way it feels.

“Are you two done?” calls a voice from the hallway. “You must be starving. Come eat already.”

“Oh my god,” Yamada mutters, closing his eyes like that will erase this interaction from ever happening.

“In a minute, Mom!” Yuuto calls back, clearly unbothered, and Yamada can hear Nakajima-san muttering about the ‘damn kids getting frisky so early in the morning’ as her footsteps fade away and Yuuto turns to look at him. “Are you hungry?”

“How are you so calm about this?” Yamada asks incredulously. “Or do you have guys over so often that it’s no big deal anymore?”

“No, stupid, she knows I like you.” Yuuto leans up on his elbows to give Yamada a knowing look. “You’re cute when you’re jealous, though.”

“At least you believe me now,” Yamada sighs out, then elaborates at Yuuto’s confused head tilt. “That I like you too.”

Yuuto grins, a special one that Yamada hasn’t seen from him before. “Yeah, I believe you. So don’t go breaking my heart, okay?”

“Only if you stop quoting me song lyrics,” Yamada tells him seriously, and Yuuto tells him it’s a deal.

Naturally the other members of their group aren’t as indifferent as Yuuto’s mother, cackling like hens every time Yamada has to move for a pose. Keito gives him a warm smile, though, and Yamada wonders how long that one has had to listen to Yuuto’s unrequited angst.

“You better be good to him,” Chinen says, standing tall on his toes until he’s the same height as Yamada. “Or I’ll kick your ass.”

Yamada laughs so hard that it hurts, but he loves every second of it.


End file.
